Wealth Building Wednesday: Rewriting Your Money Story

 Stories are the operating systems that run our brains, often making decisions for us before we’re even aware we’ve made them. It’s the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and how things work that drive the emotions we experience and the behaviors we choose based on those things. If you find that you’re constantly struggling with money, it’s time to examine – and rewrite – your money story.

Early Experiences with Money Shape Beliefs around Money

“We can’t afford that” and “we don’t have enough money” were common stories I heard when I was growing up about why my family couldn’t afford something I needed or wanted.  The reason, I was told, that we didn’t have enough was that we didn’t make enough money.

I learned from my mother that some people were “rich” and had more than enough and that some people, like us, were “poor” and didn’t have enough. Rich people were rich because they made lots of money and could afford to buy whatever they needed or wanted – which is where I wanted to be – and poor people were poor because they didn’t make enough money. I was also told that getting a good education was the key to making enough money.

From these early lessons, I developed several beliefs about money that started to guide and shape my thoughts and beliefs, and behaviors, around money.

Questioning My Money Story

For the first 32 years of my life, that story that we were poor because we “didn’t have enough” was what guided and shaped my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors about money. I had a love-hate relationship with my money. I hated needing it, but I loved receiving it.

We didn’t have enough became an excuse we could use for every unpaid bill and every time we said no to something our son needed or wanted, or we needed or wanted. There was no further exploration of how we could get “enough” or what “enough” would look like or even why we didn’t have “enough.” I wasn’t taking ownership of my money situation and I wasn’t taking ownership of my money at all. It was owning me.

It was God who first confronted me about the problem with my money story by pointing out to me that every time I made the statement that I didn’t have “enough” to do the right thing with what I received, I was silently accusing HIM of not having provided enough while letting myself off the hook for examining how I used the resources I’d received. That had to change.

It’s Not What I Have But How It Is Used

Scripture tells me that ““Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” – Luke 16:10

As Jesus says, “If you have not been faithful with worldly wealth, who will entrust you with true riches?” – Luke 16:11

Over years of doing business, I came to realize that money is a tool that measures two things: 1) The trust you’ve earned that you can deliver the results you promise; 2) The level of commitment the prospect has to getting that result. If money isn’t coming my way, there are one of five things going on to stop it:

1. 1)      I don’t know what results I can deliver.
2. 2)      I don’t know how to explain the benefit of those results to others in a way that’s appealing to them.
3. 3)      I’m not letting enough people know about the results that I can deliver.
4. 4)      I’m not talking to the right people – the kind of people who need those results – about what I can do.
5. 5)      I’m not doing the right things to earn their trust that I can deliver on my promises.

All of those things are within my power to change.

Rewriting My Money Story

Since that day 13 years ago, I’ve been slowly learning to rewrite my money story, examine the way I handle my money, and to take responsibility for the outcome of my decisions. It isn’t easy work, and sometimes I discover new areas of my life where I am putting obstacles in my own path and stopping my progress because of a story that I need to rewrite around money.

One of those stories I kept going to was that “real” business owners don’t get jobs working for other people. The truth is that “real” business owners do whatever it takes to finance their dreams until the business is bringing in enough income from enough different sources to support and sustain itself.

My business isn’t there yet, and it won’t get there if I’m not doing what I must do to pay the bills that need to be paid without “borrowing” money that I can’t pay back. I can’t ask other people to sacrifice their hard-earned money to support my dreams when I’m not willing to make sacrifices to support them. That’s not living with integrity. That’s not being trustworthy.

Earn Trust. Deliver Maximum Value. Serve Beyond What’s Expected.

When you earn people’s trust, deliver maximum value, and serve beyond what’s expected, you won’t have trouble earning the money. It will come naturally as a byproduct of who you are and how you show up.

Part of earning people’s trust is living with integrity in all the areas of your life so that everywhere you show up, you show up with confidence. I’ve not been doing that in every area of my life, but it’s in my power to change it and that’s what I’m doing now.

My Apologies For My Failure

If you’ve noticed that I haven’t posted for weeks, I must admit that I let discouragement get the better of me. I wasn’t seeing the results I wanted and it started to feel like there was no point in continuing.

However, I was reminded during these past three days of training at my new job that sometimes what’s really missing are the connections to like-minded people who can help you get where you want to be and the willingness to get out there and let other people know what it is that you have to offer.

A blog and social media sharing aren't enough of a strategy for something like this to succeed. It needs more people, and more hands, working on it. I was letting myself get defeated because I wasn't getting out there and talking to enough people.

If there's one thing that's going to guarantee you will fail at starting up a business on a $0 marketing budget, it's relying solely on organic social media and blogging to get there. Sales is a numbers game and enough people have to know you exist if you want to make a difference.

What Part of Your Money Story Do You Need To Change?

Where is your money story broken? Do you believe that you can deliver results? Do you know what those results are? Do you know how to explain the benefits of your results to others in a way that appeals to them?

Are you confident enough about what you do to let people know you can do it? Are you connecting with the right people, the people who need those results? Are you doing everything you can to show yourself to be trustworthy and to prove that you will be there for them when and where you say you are going to be there?

If not, if any of these things aren’t currently true, what can you do to change them so that they are true?

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